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Monday, May 30, 2011

THAT CANNOT BE ME!!!! MY REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR.......

MY REFLECTION PART 1 OF A SERIES

I look at my reflection in the mirror and I must say that day by day it becomes easier. I can even confidently say that more days than not I can't stop looking at my reflection because I have become so in love with myself.. This is not an egotistical statement by far but an acceptance of my very own reflection. After years of becoming comfortable with my appearance being one way, one year ago I decided to change that reflection in a way that many still see as REVOLUTIONARY.

The me I knew before was a straight haired, sleek, well put together and professional woman.  One that turned heads as she walked down the street with the wind blowing through her hair.  At that time the worse comment I got was wether my hair was a weave and if so what type of hair did I purchase. LOL take a look at that reflection.



I liked the chick I really did, but that chick had to change.  As my daughter grew and started looking and comparing her image to others I had to make the hardest and best decision I have ever made.  I decided to give my daughter a gift, a reflection of herself in me and of me in her so the straight, permed, well put together look had to go.  I was nervous for I had no clue what lay naturally coming out of my hair.  Had it been so long that I had seen my natural hair, well, yes the disconnect was there and even when I saw my childhood pictures they looked funny to me.  I promised myself to not go the dramatic way and come home with one of those barber cuts that made me look like a boy so no big chop was my cry.  Please how delusional could I be? To think that two totally different textures growing out of one head could co-habitate peacefully, especially when the head they were growing out off was of a person that was "hair challenged" a person that never even washed her own hair because she had no clue how to  style it or where to begin.

The frustration of those two textures and the care it took to ensure it looked presentable kept me up many nights and as my reflection in the mirror slowly changed I became unsure of who that person was staring back at me in the mirror.  Frustration won out my desire to appear attractive to others, even to the one I loved most and I decided if I was going to change then I needed to do it completely and stop avoiding the inevitable thus came the BIG CHOP and yet a new reflection to get use to.




Now my reflection is me the real me, the me that God intended me to be and that reflection changes constantly.  I can go from straight to curly in a drop of hat.  Braids to braid outs, puffs to buns, twists to twist outs and all over night.  I keep others guessing and I even surprise myself with my hair skills at times. Hell I didn't even know I had it in me..LMAO.  So everyday my reflection becomes less of a surprise to me it becomes a comfort.  How other see me becomes less important and as I walk down the streets now young women stop me and tell me how the love my hair.  People of other races stop me and ask me if they could touch it cause it looks so textured, and my daughter sees a reflection of herself in me and I in her...... to be cotinued

5 comments:

  1. You have empowered many; but most importantly, your daughter. You're simply beautiful.

    A friend

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  2. Thanks you all for the kind words. Stay tune for part 2 of the series.

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  3. Aww, what a story! I've never looked at myself in that much depth as yet but I will take the time to do that one day (perhaps sooner than I think). When I start making children, should one happen to be a girl, I could be where I want to be with the hopes of being the ideal role model for her and her seeing me the way I want her to see me.

    Nice blog!

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